Lady Birds in Pink

Talking about weird coincidences. I blogged about Angry Birds recently. In fact it was my latest post until day before yesterday, when I talked about genderized target margeting. Today... I suppose I'm making a mashup of the two? Which I swear I did not plan at all.

Ok, after Friday's post it has come to my awareness that a new Pink Bird is to be presented in Angry Birds Seasons. Pink Bird is a girl bird who I suppose has the ability to distract the pigs with her bubbles or something of the sort. (I'm not sure, the game's not out yet.) An interesting idea indeed. However the character... I guess she's supposed to be the Amy Rose and Vanille of birdies, and that might be exactly what irks me here. I'm not exactly a fan of overly cutesy girlie characters, except if they somehow break that stereotype. Which I highly doubt will be the case here.

Don't get me wrong, I love female characters. And Pink Bird, according to the ad, seem to have her own skills certainly, and she seems somewhat smart as well. But that is not what I'm talking about now. 

Source.

It's the thing about adding girl characters in general. Especially to games that are meant for children. I suppose some people still think that if you do stuff to kids you have to go over the top. In everything. That there needs to be girl things and boy things, and that those things need to be clearly separated and color labeled. That of course is hardly the case. There is no way a girl would be biologically drawn to pink color, dresses or mascara. Just like a boy wouldn't be to cars, sports and video games. It is a cultural thing that is developed in the social interaction with other people. Usually with people who, consciously or subconsciously, encourage to certain behavior and interests with certain genders. Not only do I feel people shouldn't feed these stereotypes that, yes, might attract some girls and boys, but at the same time alienate others, I feel that it is totally unnecessary to bring gender into things that don't need it.

Was there once a game called Angry Boy Birds? No, there wasn't. The were just birds. That were angry. The birds were totally non-genderized, the concept was good, and all kids, not just boys, liked them. Or at least I thought so. Was I wrong? Was there in fact a need to a pink, airy, eyelash batting, bubble blowing girl bird? And there was no other option to design that girl either?

For how I've seen it, and if you really think about it there should always have been girl birds in that world. I'm not very much in the Angry Birds lore, but the whole base of the game is that the pigs stole the birds' eggs, right? So, where did the eggs come from? I see no reason why the pissed birds attacking the pigs wouldn't have been the whole bird community, girls and all. I've never ever though I should be seeing Angry Birds masculine in any way. But, certainly, that is the official opinion, and in fact there already do exist female characters before Pink Bird. If you don't already know, care to guess what they look like.

Source.

Ok, Miss Piggy is priceless (they just added the bow, now that's hilarious), but the Angry Chicks are just too much. Red Bird is not amused about her insane lashes and yellow bow. And White Bird... Oh White Bird, what have they done to you? It's like looking at some disturbing turn in bird evolution where birds have finally gone insane and are murdering pigs in their beds dressed as prostitutes. Wouldn't less sometimes be more? Guys? Well, apparently not, and that's why there must also be a version with pink lipstick on her. 

The ladies seem to bring interesting aspects to the games, by the way. They change the way we are supposed to think about the birds and their eggs. They bring family life in game. Gosh, now it's almost brutal to think about the birds having their scared, crying babies kidnapped from them, and the fathers (this is the game's opinion at least) going on a suicide mission to rescue them. How many single mothers will be left behind? Thousands! If you think I'm exaggerating, check out this pic I found. 

Source.

Oh, and why again are the eggs wearing a bow and a cap? Really? I don't think the other eggs were. Especially when there is no way to know that the kids will be a boy and a girl. They are eggs! Red Bird couple must have some pretty heavy expectations for their children.

So, yeah. Bringing Pink into Birds isn't a huge deal, if you think it like that. It is surely a very natural next step to the series' line of ladies. But every game and a product of popular culture has the choice to create characters that challenge the general idea of things. In this case, gender. In those situations, what causes people to dig up the easiest, most stereotypical of all and not giving it any more debt? If you can put birds in space, the sky is no more your limit. Thus, you could have made this character anything. Instead you colored her pink and gave her lashes. That's not character design. 

I don't think even Miss Piggy will appreciate that.

Source.

Funzies for Friday: Genderized Game Commercials

Mia Consalvo once said: "Women are aware of publicized games but they don't pay attention to the commercials on TV because they seem to know that the ads aren't targeted to them." Yeah, I've complained about this before. How women are neglected in both game design and marketing. I'll have to apologize. I was totally wrong and don't know what I was thinking. This situation clearly is no more. In fact, it has come up clear us day that women play too.

And what do we play? Just ask the ads targeted to us.

Well hello Bayonetta.

The life simulator, the music game, the game you can cook in, the exercise one...  All good in a way, but I'm sensing a pattern here. I've seen this ad before. Many, many times. It's always the same. While there might be men and women in the picture, the games the girls choose to play are exactly these. And what do guys play? Shooting and driving. Oh, and sports, but manly ones, like hockey. In this one though I'm seriously confused about the hack and slash one. I'm almost wondering if they accidentally pasted it in just because it has a girl on it? She's got guns and everything!

But there's more. Oh boy is there more when we move from consoles to casual. When Dragons of Atlantis, a Facebook-game, advertises to girls we get copywriter gold like this:

...while men get to enjoy stuff like this:

Oh yeah, they have us all figured out. What smooth target margeting. I especially love how they tell us straight in the headline that they know women love it. Because of the cutesy babies, right? I suppose the trailer is misleading then, because it promises stuff like raising a powerful dragon, forging alliances and building empires, but maybe it's like a co-op then? Co-op with real men. (Fake men need no apply.)

Yes, sure, it seems like a joke, but if it is, it's not working. If only women get the nurturing ad and men the real men ad, we don't get the "haha, oh how delightfully over the top" effect. We just get pissed off. Especially because I'm freaking terrified people might actually think like this. People who work in gaming.

That guy variant is almost fine, despite the fact that's I suddenly feel like He-Man reading that, but goddamn... They must have thought really hard to figure out what women could do in that game that would be womanly enough. I'm wondering is there more of these. 

Try on the prettiest armors and share on Facebook! 
Pet fluffy Minotaurs! 
Collect pretty jewels for resources! 
Build your cities, it's like decorating! (I could go on all night.) 

At good old times, that was of course not even a problem, women were those who appeared in the ads for men, and rather hilariously so. 

From the excellent codinghorror.com

What do men like? Boobies! And girls touching each other, obviously. Better promise them sex, they'll never play otherwise! And of course they appeal to the classic: damsels in distress. What man isn't moved by those words that are obviously written by those beautiful medieval fictional ladies. I'm playing this game, I'm playing it right now! Can't you hear them screaming in agony and fear!

I guess I should be lucky this type of tragic mess hasn't spread outside Facebook and browser games yet.

      

If I'd have to choose though, I'd say my favorites are the ones that don't even try. The ones that have decided that women are like children, because they don't give a shit about women really. What can be sold to little girls, can be sold to grown women too. Here's a Ubisoft game targeted to girls on Nintendo DS. And here's another one. They've made a whole game series of that stuff, "Babiez", "Fashion Designer", "Animal Doctor", and are advertizing it agressively to girls. Women. Wait. Who are these targeted again? Oh, girls aged 6 to 14. Well no wonder they advertise with 30+ women then, right!

"Of all ages", you say?

As much as I appreciate the fun factor, I cannot stop wondering how these advertises are made. The seem so desperate to get that assumed target by creating scenarios that aren't really needed. Is someone really going to fall for this? To buy shit just because it tells who it targets in conveniently vague category? Call me old fashioned but I don't think you should start any advert by wondering "what do we know about women/men" and just going with it.

Women games? That's like guy chocolate!

And about women in gaming ads. There is stuff between 'invisible' and 'a bucket full of pink and pretty', you know. If you want to advertise to women, then do it with the game content itself. Appeal with a story or a character. Don't guess, for the love of god. Look up studies, do something. If a woman isn't playing your game, find out why. It's probably not because of the lack of cutesy babies. The best part is if you don't genderize, you can sell the games to both men and women. Offer alternatives, sure, just don't make them stupid.

And here's the real shocker. It is in fact not possible to catch every gamer girl's or boy's attention. Not ever. We do not play with our genitals after all. A lot of women and men love war games, a lot of women and men love FPSs, action adventures, puzzles, civilization games, and casual games. On other words: women and men are all different kind of people, who love all kinds of games. Not everything has to be targeted. In fact it's probably a very bad idea.

I keep telling you, this isn't a few birds!

Did you know Finns are crazy? We don't need much of a reason to go crazy over something, and that once awoken craziness will never go away. I'm dead serious. Once a Finn invents something and that invention goes global, it's doomed to be centre of our world forever. It's the only thing Finns ever accomplished, or that's at least what anyone would think seeing the situation. 

It's been three years since Rovio entertainment published Angry Birds. It's 2012, and I live in Helsinki, and this is what I see every day, everywhere. I try to go buy milk or go to the movies or take the subway, and what do I see?

Card games.

Slingshot games.

Towels.

Plushies (that talk).

Umm...bubbles.

Shitloads of everything.

Fizzy drinks.

Pricy candy.

...that will follow you where ever you go.

Entire Stores.

Entire theme parks.

Evening dresses.

Goddamn official hockey maskots.

The fucking world.

I'm begging you, Rovio. Stop this madness. It is true that the birds are good to us, and they make money, but why does it always have to go so far? We are a small country and we take what we get, but seriously, a hockey maskot? For the same reason this happens is the same reason we still proudly carry our Marimekko handbags and Nokia phones and soil our drawers out of sheer joy every time something Finnish is mentioned in the tv. There's national pride and then there is this. Rovio, I'm happy for you, please sell your product while you can. But you recently launched even more birds. There's no end to this, is there?

Why am I even asking.

In Awe: Girls with Tools

No Trip, this is not about games.

This post isn't a rant, nor does it have anything to do with anything really. It is merely something I wanted to share. I don't know why, but my whole life I've had a soft spot for girl mechanics in tv and movies. They are just really fascinating. Maybe it's because of my utter and deep admiration towards women who can fix things, since I can't. Or maybe it's because a big chunk of my childhood consisted of hanging out at garages with my father. Maybe I even considered that career once. I don't know. All I know is gasoline smells good and overalls make me happy yet today. And because of that, I feel the need to honor the women who fix things in fictional worlds. So here they are, the six coolest mechanichicks made famous by some of my favorite shows.

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6. Audrey Ramirez

from Atlantis: The Lost Empire

First of our Wrench Wenches is Audrey Ramirez, a spicy latina mechanic of the Ulusses, a submarine voyaging to find Atlantis. She's just a teenager, 18 at the time of the trip, but very competent and very witty. As is common with girl mechanics her father was also a mechanic on the same expedition before her. As she tells, her father had planned to have one of his sons follow his lead - too bad he had nothing but girls. Audrey's obviously "too cool for you" and definitely one of the guys, but comes up very kind and thoughtful under all that. That is also how Milo describes her to Kida, "sweet", though she does like to punch people. Besides being a very capable mechanic she is dearly needed on the trip. Of the whole crew she's the youngest, the smallest, and the first one to have the balls to stand up for Milo, not only once but two times. Now that's something all right. All and all Audrey's a good example to all little girls out there, and a very fresh character for a girl in animated Disney movies. And at the end, she gets to use those spectacular lips too.

Fun fact: her big sister is a middleweight boxing champion. Probably the one who taught Audrey those moves. 

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5. Charlene "Charley" Davidson

from Biker Mice from Mars

It's weird that the manliest shows sometimes have the best female characters. The hilariously named Charley Davidson is a human woman who the Biker Mice adopt as their personal mechanic. She owns a garage in Chicago and fills her days fixing bikes, the mice's equipment (including guns) on the side. She's an extremely talented mechanic, since she fixes the extra-terrestrial tech like nothing, and makes upgrades too. This wicked city chick is used to be taking care of herself (despite the occasional getting kidnapped part). In fact she is introduced in the pilot pretty much kicking ass like there's no tomorrow. Still, she's a lady, who sometimes wears a dress and enjoys her Shakespeare play, and forces the mice to enjoy it too. Without a doubt she also does know how to use her femininity to her advantage. Charley's relationship with the mice is close from the very beginning. Most of the time she wants to help them, whereas the mice, especially Vinnie, try to stop her from tagging along to the battles, which annoys Charley to the max. That's why she sometimes goes anyway, with a scheme of her own. She's a very moral person and feels responsible for her dear home city and its people. For some reason we almost never see her with her own bike. I mean she has a Harley (I must presume).

Fun fact: Youtube's filled with tributes to Charley and Vinnie. People really would have wanted to see that inter-species romance, huh?

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4. Callandra "Cally" Tyrol nee Henderson

from Battlestar Galactica

From the first sight I though Cally was the most adorable thing alive. But as it turns out, her life wasn't easy at all. During the series she works as a deck hand on Galactica, so she is taking care of the Vipers and the Raptors, the fighters and the scouting planes. Being a mechanic is not her chosen occupation, she's doing it to save money for dental school, of all things. However it is what she's stuck doing and I gotta say, those coveralls do suit her well. She is very loyal and a genuine, down to earth person. For both her happiness and unhappiness she fells in love with her boss at the engineer deck and the do work side by side as a couple for a while. However, she faces plenty of horrors on the Galactica including constant fear, both physical and sexual violence and almost dying several times. She also seems to lose her temper easily and ends up being the one to kill Boomer after she is revealed being a Cylon. Unfortunately Cally faces an awful end, first getting delusional and jealous and wrenching her husband, and then being launched into space via airlock. Rest in peace, Cally, rest in peace.

Fun fact: The only "on-screen" married woman and a mom on this list, and the only one who met her maker, too. 

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3. Winry Rockbell

from Fullmetal Alchemist

Winry plays a huge role in the series as Edward's personal automail engineer and mechanic. She is located in Edward's and Alphonse's home village, Risembool and is a childhood friend of theirs. Winry was taught to mechanics by her automail guru grandmother, who she has lived her whole life with. To no one's surprise Winry ends up being Ed's romantic interest, however I would use "romantic" with some serious reservation here. Winry is very sweet and passionate and cares for the brothers very much. This very work oriented girl knows what she's good at and therefore is found dabbling with her tools in her workshop at all hours. It is obvious she takes great responsibility on Edward's mechanical limbs, which she had built with her own hands at the early age of 11, and her reactions on the abuse Edward gets them through are usually quite extreme. Edward relies on her with his life, literally in most cases, and Winry, even though she doesn't like being taken for granted, does always deliver - with some loud complaints of course. Edward knows Winry's passion for mechanic and often teases her for it, which she doesn't seem to care one bit. She's indeed a happy mechanic geek who's easily excited by new tech. I also like to think her as the mechanichick trendsetter, since she's the only one on this list that gladly shows some skin too. Despite that it takes years before she finally gets her man.

Fun fact: Much like with Cally, that wrench is just not for show. It is also her weapon of choice when smacking Ed around.

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2. Kaywinnet Lee "Kaylee" Frye

from Firefly

As every Joss Whedon fan knows Kaylee is the Serenity's memorable lady mechanic. Like Audrey Kaylee was also taught by her father, and judging by her exquisite problem solving skills she seems to have a natural talent for the field. She's probably the most emotional of all the girls, since Kaylee sees the ship a bit like her baby and tends its problems as if it was sick. By nature Kaylee is a free spirit and thus fits nicely with the merry band of misfits that the Serenity's crew is. Kaylee puts herself as the runner-up on my list exactly because of her amazing nature. Even though none of the girls on my list are stereotypically rock hard and manly, Kaylee is the most feminine, soft and sunny of all. She's all and all very lovely, always helping others and always cheering people up. Her captain Mal has indeed express that her naturally good mood is at times even annoying. Even bullets to the stomach don't stop this sugar cube from smiling. Whereas Winry brings sexy to the job, this oil covered human hummingbird wears bright floral prints under her overalls and is proudly her own giggly self no matter the job. Unlike, say, our number one, she'd happily wear a dress too, a pink one, preferably.

Fun fact: Got introduced to Firefly by sleeping with the ship's mechanic - and replacing him on the job.

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1. Gadget Hackwrench

from Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers

Gadget is the Rescue Rangers' mechanich, pilot and inventor and number one female mechanic on my list. She is my earliest take on the subject and frankly the reason this list exists at all. That jumpsuit, those goggles, that determination. Who can say this particular mouse isn't the best thing! Raised by an inventor father Gadget became a a crazy MacGyver type who can take any two items and make  a car or a bomb out of them (well it's Disney, so maybe not a bomb). Of all Gadget's gadgets some of the best are vehicles: The Ranger Plane, The Ranger Wing, The Rangermobile, The Easter Basket Tank, and my personal favorite, The Bagpipe Express. Gadget's work is especially challenging as she uses every day human objects to the needs of mice and chipmunks. In addition to flying the planes she also drives a car, steers a boat, and occasionally controls a huge robot dog. Along with Kaylee Gadget's fast talking and a bright, sunny personality. She's very practical and often comes up with just the thing needed in the situation within seconds. Typically both chipmunks are totally in love with her, which Gadget is joyfully clueless of most of the time. She's not a perfect mechanic, and her inventions are more experiments than the result of long and careful design, but they work enough at least. To me Gadget is just the right combination of cute, crazy and creative. The ultimate lady fix-a-lot. 

Fun fact: There is apparently a trope named after Gadget, called GadgeteerGenius. Golly!

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How Mass Effect 3 became a make your own adventure book

Source.

There's enough rant about the Mass Effect 3's ending in the internet already, so no, I'm not going to analyze that any more. I will however talk about the scam that is connected to that shitty ending and how BioWare, or EA, really screwed over their fans this time. 


Here's the deal (also: spoiler spoiler spoiler). In the end of Mass Effect 3 it is possible to get one of the following results: Shepard either lives (barely) or dies (painfully). These are one of the few things that the player actually can affect on, when the lack of choice has been the biggest criticism the game's ending has yet received. "Shepard lives" is in no way a good ending, however it is a hopeful ending, even if the player hasn't heard of the infamous indoctrination theory. It is an ending that inspires to play the game again and again, to see Shepard survive against all odds.

There is a catch though. To get Shepard live the player has to choose the red ending and have over 4000 effective military strength, a collection of war assets the player gathers throughout the game. To this day there hasn't been any decent prove that it is possible to get the required 4000 EMS, unless the player boosts their numbers with online multiplayer. And what do you know, on my platform, the Xbox360, the multiplayer is only available for those who own a 70€ a year gold account. The player does get free multiplayer time with the game, but there's no possible way to use it on the free silver account. I know. I tried. For those who aren't willing to pay for MP, there exists very badly made, badly playable iPad games that can apparently help with the war asset gain - if you're willing to purchase them for the amazing price of 8€ (whereas the average price for a iPad game is under 5€) and suffer through the ghastly gameplay. 

Source.

I'm completely serious. Even if the player plays the game perfectly, does all the side quests, has all the quests done from previous games as well, there's no way to get 4000 EMS. To even get close is a achievement itself, since the game is so glitchy and the quest list so impossible to read (to see f.e. what missions have been already done) that a massive frustration is a certainty. I don't blame that poor soul that wants to avoid this massive headache by skipping the side quests completely. I was a masochist enough to play them myself, by the end a quest list open on my laptop just to keep Shepard from running around the galaxy to double check her missions. And after all that, guess what happened?

Does this sound like a genius game design to you? No, it doesn't. When it comes to games the whole idea of playing them is to have fun. They are a form of entertainment. To force people to buy games they don't want to, accounts they don't need, or in general force people to use their time on something they didn't sign for is not what makes players happy. A game's purpose is not to sell other games. It is not to take away content from some. It is not to alienate the player from the game by guiding the player away from the game itself.

But this is the truth and unfortunately I am not surprised. We live in a time where mobile and Facebook based games rule he world. This is where the idea of micro payments and improving your chances with money most likely comes from. In Facebook games though the game itself is free, so better weaponry, armors and gadgets are understandably the only income the gaming company gets. Mass Effect 3 costs 70€ on Xbox360 like any new Xbox game, and over 50€ for PC. DLCs are a thing I would gladly pay extra for. The game content itself? The game content should not depend on if the player is ready to put more money in it or not. That's just douchey. If MP makes the wanted goal easier to achieve that's all fine and good. But with this solution the game can't function on its own. BioWare's choices not to allow people to get their ending they want and deserve, mind you, can lead to where is has lead today. And it should not come as a surprise to BioWare that people simply stop playing the ending, go to Youtube to see Shepard live, and rather just make up their own endings from thereon. 

Source.

The amount of fan produced material is slowly staring to remind a movement. So far I have seen some awesome videos, forum posts, fanfics, digital art, paintings, animations, comics, you name it, all telling how the game really ended. My personal favorites are the epilogue slides, where it is possible to just write 4000 or 5000 war assets on the first page, and get the hopeful ending, where Shepard takes that crucial half of a breath and all that happens afterwards. The many, many fails of the game design choices seem to be something to bring people together. Angry, yet extremely creative. People are moved by each others' endings, and find meaning in them. One person's headcanon can be a part of another's vision. This I do enjoy. However I do not enjoy the fact that the players have to be the ones to fix the game. An editor to adjust the numbers is already there, but that is exactly the problem: it shouldn't be.

Source.

When talking about the ending a certain theme always comes up. Ownership. It is debatable whether the game belongs to the gamers as well as it belongs to BioWare. Do they players have a right to demand better endings? Well when it comes to being able to play the damn game, yes they do. When it comes to the other disappointing stuff, that's another question. However it is not a matter of opinion that the world that has been once created is meaningful to the players at this point and that is in spite of EA or its minion, or their lack of interest to the gaming crowd. People take their characters very personally, which BioWare too knows. The game is dear to many, and that is why Shepard lives on in thousands of fan made products today. 

The answer to ownership is not simple, and it's not simply definable by the people who made the game. Fans can and will modify the game as they please, and yes, fix it if it's broken. Even if the company itself takes no action to grant the players' wishes considering the ending (with a DLC that costs even more money), it is clear that people have had enough time to create maybe better stories that there is and will be, and they have by now realized they do not need to bend over backwards to get what they want. All they need is a keyboard or an edit app. But that's also what will rip the gamer and the developer crowd apart. Especially with a company that used to be so close to its fans, it's a damn shame.

Misogyny is not dead

Excited about the soon-to-be-published Dragon Age 2, I read Bioware Forum's Dragon Age 2 themed posts. There are certain moments in life, when you hear someone talking and think "does he understand how fucked up he sounds?" This was one of those moments.

So I read a thread called "Isabela? Really?" which started as a wondering if this redesigned character really was the same one from DA1 (Origins). Pretty soon the conversation went hostile. Arguments about the character's appearance were shouted out, and she was called unattractive, manly, and ugly. Sure players can complain, and they most certainly do, as also Aveline and Cassandra have been called ugly. This passionate hate for Isabela however was something very alarming.

A lovely opening of a misogynist member 1 proclaimed: "So the leading lady is a wh*re, and a pretty ugly one at that?" This particular person reminded in various occations that Isabela is indeed a whore and a slut, because she slept with the Warden, Leliana and Zevran at the same time. Warden however wasn't called a slut once, though he/she had done the same of course. Calling Isabela a whore seemed such an easily justified way to insult her. "Well she did sleep around", they yelled from their mothers' basements. Calling someone a whore is of course a classic example of calling genderized power over someone else.

Others joined in. These people patted each others' backs and kept ranting about their right to have an attractive NPC. They also commented with arguments like

-all men like lingerie models so game characters should look like that

-especially ugly about Isabela is her large (?!) chin and thin lips, game characters should have soft features and big lips

-also her head looks like a melon

-her labret is ugly, piercings all and all are gross

Another member reminded the misogynists that women play these games and romance women too, and most of girls did found Isabela attractive. Misogynist member 1 never quit reciting his fine "but most men hate it" -generalization. Versitality was not necessery to these people, nor was reality. Misogynist member 2 said he didn't expect the same from real women, but from his in-game love interests he did of course, adding "I don't think that the standards are really so horrible when you consider them in that context." When said Isabela isn't even that ugly he continued: "As far as ugly -- comparatively speaking, yes there are many, many far, far uglier women out there (in the real world)." Smooth.

There was also complain about "women demanding too much". Men like "standard" beauty and apparently women falling outside that box (along with men/women who like non-standard) should keep their mouth shut and not expect to be treated decently. A misogynist member reminded women can vote, so everything should be fine. "The modern feminist culture is nothing more than a joke. You wanted to vote, rightfully so, and you got it. You wanted job equality, rightfully so, and you got it. You wanted respect as an equal, rightfully so, and you got it." When another member stated that exactly because of comments like these many women feel alienated in video game communities, misogynist member 1 was confused: "You feel alienated when men request that romanceable women look hot? What do you care if they do or not?"

These guys apparently thought they were being extremely sly. "Oh look look, I'm saying these things of a fictional character, I'm not offending anyone." It is interesting these people think games exist in a bubble outside real world. So demanding standard beauty is a situation consisting only game designers and the players?

And how fluently do the slut, the whore, the "I have a right to criticize this woman's appearance" come. The right to say what women should look like.

Every image offered by any media is part of the idea of beauty. The large chin, thin lipped Isabelas with piercings are no doubt in awe of this character. What use would it be to study tv or movies if they had no effect on us? Why would there be "real beauty" -campaigns if we were above all expectations? It's not like you can avoid being let down by your own looks even if you know they are unrealistic. This sort of self-hatred is caused by living in the fear of things assholes like these might think about you.

The game world has gone crazy. Isabela is by all measures gorgeous. But so was Faith, and she was trashed for her small boobs. Why do different rules apply in the gaming communities? Why is it such a nasty place for girls still, in more than one way?

This is scary cause it's true. Welcome to the year 2011.

Ladies and gentlemen. may I present: the scam. no wait, just the ladies.

Yes, it's true. I'm back. And most importantly I'm pissed. Again.

The Rant of the Day? I was playing Legends of Zork the other day, and cause it should be (even though casual) RPG you can make your character either male or female. Always appreciated, as I have stated. I was enjoying the game until on the level 20 people started approaching me like this:

The stony-faced butler fixes you with a particularly hard look. "Sir is not an opportunistic adventurer, here to try and get a reward, is Sir?"

And apparantly I say things like this:

Evenin' all. My name is Dirk Softly.

So…this seems a bit odd, since my character looks like this:

Dirkette?

Unfortunately I totally get why this has happened. Because even though games are supposed to be for girls too these days, the game makers only think players as guys when making the games. If a girl faces this sort of a situation when playing it’s borderline offensive, cause you have made her believe she had something to affect on while making the character.

It’s most defenately a popurity contest. RPG makes it possible to reach all players no matter what’s in their panties, but you know, I would have been less mad if you’d just made the character male. It’s quite obvious you are too lazy to think about us girls 5 seconds after you start writing the mission texts. I had to point this out to another game designer (who I live with) that admitted he actually never thought of the girls in the missions because in the instructions the player was refered to as ”he”.

It’s a small gesture really. To write that alternative text. To, you know, give a shit.

This is why we need more girl designers.

Faking the race, the sequel

Look, it's Jake Gyllenhaal!

Last time I ranted about the crappy fake foreign accents in games. Well, turned out, there's plenty more to say about faking and insulting. Yes, I'm talking about you Hollywood. Where Tekken the movie actually follows the complex, multi-game series in the original mix of different races and nationalities (no matter how much it sucks otherwise), some just seem to look at the game and simply think "fuck it". You know by now what I'm after. The new Prince of Persia: Sands of Time movie shows the beauty of the "faking the race" phenomena. The prince is played by Jake Gyllenhaal, evidently the most Persian looking guy in Hollywood, and the Farah substitute seems to be some British chick. With a tan!

Gemma Arterton's ethnic career:

"Oh hai, iz Greek!"

 "Oh hai, iz Indian!"

That’s about as foreign as it gets. There's also Alfred Molina as a sheik and Ben Kingsley as Nizam/The Vizir, who seems to be inspired by the Persians in 300. Thus, a cultural diversity turned into a whitey party. Weirder still, they went through a hell of a lot of trouble to make the game sound right. So, Jake sis talking with a fake British accent, which ironically is the only authencity in the whole goddamn thing.

There's been "Greek" Gerard Butlers and Sam Worthingtons before, so it's nothing shocking really. And gamers certainly have had some hard time with godawful game adaptations with a total miscast (thank you Uwe Boll). It does make you think though: why to take a perfectly good concept and specificly turn it into an ethnic cleansed western fable? Not that it's any of my business (as a paying customer) but personally I'd have enjoyed watching someone a bit more, you know, Persian. Gemma's part is understandable, surely they couldn't have cast any of the 1,5 million Brits with indian heritage. That's just crazy talk.

Why even try. I suggest Hollywood does the whole damn series and bleaches the characters in every part.

So Kaileena will be played by Yvonne Strahovski.

Elika will be played by Lily Cole.

And Forgotten Sands will be an epic tale of a ghost in a snowstorm.

Yeah. It's pretty obvious Jordan Mechner, the creator of the consept, Disney or Jerry Bruckheimer don't care about the actual cultures they make money on, they just want the cool sounding bits such as "Persian" and "Caribbean" and dress up some white folk in nice clothes.

It's not the ethnicity that bugs me even so much as the need to put someone white, even the totally wrong one, into the role. I'm sad about the characters which were butchered in this project. Farah, who was excellent, for instance. She was interesting, and the exotic looks was part of her charm. She could have been a goddess really. So fail there. Jake doesn't remind the prince from the actual game at all. The muscles and the rough edgy look is more of Warrior Within. This one should have been sparky and smirky, frisky and boyish, a charmer. Even then, it might have been forgivable if it had worked. Jake is a great actor, and he's got the teddy bear eyes and feet sweeping looks, but he's not comfy here. Who ever chose to make the ultimate choices with Prince of Persia turned this movie pretty much into an empty shell.

As predicted, Mechner went all politician about the race thing. When asked whether they'd looked at anyone of Persian descent, Mechner said: “Yeah, they looked at a huge range of actors -- There are hundreds of great actors that could’ve done the job, but you end up picking one”.

What an asshole. Wonder if their "search" was similar to The Last Airbender's "caucasian...or other...".

Which leads us to another great example of Hollywood's ethnic cleansing.

I personally find this quite antic:

"Two months after the initial cast of The Last Airbender was announced and after considerable fan outcry, the role of Prince Zuko, the film’s primary antagonist, was recast from a white actor to Indian-British actor Dev Patel. Subsequently, several actors of “Latino, Middle Eastern” descent were cast to play villains and conquering Fire Nation soldiers that are the antagonists in the film. The production also began casting “Asian and African” actors to play citizens of a country that has fallen victim to the Fire Nation. Because of these castings, M. Night Shyamalan has declared The Last Airbender “the most culturally diverse tent-pole movie ever made.”

This quote is from the wonderful anti-Airbender-movement racebending's site, which I recommend for further reseach. So, what's happening is that Avatar: The Last Airbender, a loved show about Inuits and Asians is now made into a movie called The Last Airbender, cast entirely with white people, except for the baddies and props. "The most culturally diverse" flick is copying the pattern Hollywood have been doing since, oh I don't know, forever. Of course those of us who actually have watched the show have already identified with the Katara, Sokka and Aang we know, and they sure aren't white.

Check out, for example, the pic of Katara and Sokka with their "tribe".

Since I'm choking into disbelieve I'll let racebending do the talking once more. "An entire tribe populated using extras from Greenland – a nation that is almost 90% of Inuit heritage – is championed by two Caucasians."

I don't know how to emphasase this any stronger, but for fuck's sake, the white leads has been there for the last 100 years. It is seen, done, over and out, old news, tired and self repeating. It is nothing to be tampered for, especially by force and obsession, ending up with actors who have absolutely nothing to offer to the characters. Yeah, for a while it looked pretty good for non-whites too, but obviously the last few years' regression wasn't just financial. Distress wouldn't need to lead to discrimination, xenophobia and downturn, yet it often does and these are the results.

Stay tuned for Leonardo DiCaprio as Akira!